New England Sun-Times

During the wake for Lionel Batiste, some mourners mistook the New Orleans music legend for a mannequin. Why? Because the bass drummer’s body was propped up in a standing position at the front of the room. Even in death, the man known as Uncle Lionel was not without his whistle, cane and trademark watch wrapped around his palm. Storyville Stompers tuba player Woody Penouilh told The Times-Picayune: ‘He looks better today than when I saw him the Thursday before he died. Heaven is agreeing with him.’ The paper reported that the unique wake stemmed from a promise made by the musician’s son, who said: ‘I told him, “I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to send you off good.” That’s the kind of guy he was. He had to be an original.’ Louis Charbonnet, who has been in the funeral business for 50 years, said that he had never done anything like the stand-up viewing. Charbonnet said ‘You have to think outside the box. And so he’s...

If this aint some bizarre mess! Thieves stole a man’s penis while he slept, according to police. 41 year old Fei Lin, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to a photo caption sent to The Huffington Post by CEN/EUROPICS. “They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off,” Lin said. “I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing – then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone.” That knife must’ve been super sharp or his stuff is super small…jus’ sayin. Police believe the attackers were jealous lovers of several local women whom Lin was having affairs with. Lin denied taking part in any infidelity. Emergency workers and police searched for Lin’s anatomy but turned up nothing. The penis thieves are nowhere to be found, but police said they’re looking for th...

A wealthy businessman and husband of six has died after allegedly being forced into a marathon sex session with his ‘jealous’ wives. Nigerian Uroko Onoja was having sex with the youngest of his spouses when the remaining five attacked him with knives and sticks and demanded that he have sex with each of them too. Onoja went on to have intercourse with four of his wives in succession, but ‘stopped breathing’ as the fifth was making her way to the bed in Ogbadibo. Two women have been arrested following the incident in the state of Benue last week, said the report, which used the term ‘raped to death’ to describe the businessman’s fate. WTH The businessman, who has been described as a philanthropist who ‘contributed positively’ to the growth of his local community, is thought to have resisted the demands of his wives’ before being overpowered. His youngest spouse is quoted as saying her five fellow wives ran into the ...

The accused Colorado mass murderer’s crazy courtroom appearance was all an act and not the result of prescription medications, a jail employee said. 24 year old James Holmes, was not under the influence of any medication during his strange 12-minute cameo at the Monday hearing, the source insisted Tuesday. “We don’t just hand out meds,” the Arapahoe County Detention Center worker told the Daily News. “It just doesn’t work like that. If he was acting sleepy, he was faking it,” the source added. Victims families are beginning to show that they’re not asleep at the switch. One family member is prepping the first massacre-related lawsuit. Torrence Brown, Jr. was in Century 16 Theater when Holmes allegedly let loose. One of Brown’s best friends, A.J. Boik, was shot and killed and now Brown says he suffers from extreme trauma. The suit, which has not yet been filed, will apparently name three defendents: the theater, for not properly securing the emergency exit; Hol...

Newly released video shows in disturbing detail how much a 10-year-old boy suffered during a school bus beatdown last year. The footage was released Friday at a press conference in Appomattox, Va., organized by the mother of Cequan Haskins, who wanted to show the public how bad the abuse was. “My son, he was a special needs child and he didn’t deserve this,” Roxanne Haskins told ABC affiliate WSET-TV. “He was entitled to a safe transportation just like any other child in the Appomattox County Public School System.” The hard-to-watch video, filmed in May 2011, shows two 15-year-old bullies attacking Haskins, at one point burning the boy’s skin with a hot cigarette lighter. The abuse continues for 40 minutes while Haskins screams and the teens hurl insults at the boy, including racial and sexual slurs. “Sit down and shut your mother-f****ing mouth!” one of the boys yells, while holding Haskins down in his seat. Both bullies were found guilty of assault and ba...

VIDEO OF PARIS vs. AUNTY JANET FIGHT AT BOTTOM This Jackson family drama just keeps getting messy! Paris is tweeting threats while DCFS is considering taking the children away from their grandmother Katherine Jackson! We toldya Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris has taken to Twitter to not only blast her entire family but was the first to report her grandmother missing. We later found out that Katherine, who is the guardian of Michael’s three children, has been “resting” in Arizona with daughter Rebbie. However she still hasn’t spoken with or seen her grandchildren in over a week. Monday evening police were called to the Calabasas residence, seen below, of the late Michael Jackson on claims of domestic abuse. This is where it gets crazy! Video footage has surfaced of Janet attempting to snatch Paris’ cell phone before she, Jermaine and Randy were ordered by security to leave the home. Minutes later, Paris tweeted “Gotta love fam.” Meanwhile cameras also ca...

John Evans Atta Mills July 24th, 2012 The president of the West African nation of Ghana, John Evans Atta Mills, has died, the president's chief of staff said in a statement Tuesday. He died at a military hospital Tuesday afternoon, the statement said. Mills was a former law professor and served as Ghana's vice president from 1997 to 2000. He ran for president unsuccessfully in 2000 and 2004 before winning the election in 2009. U.S. President Barack Obama met with Mills when he visited Ghana in July 2009. Obama praised Ghana as a model for democracy and stability when Mills visited Washington this year. "Ghana has become a wonderful success story economically on the continent," Obama said. "In part because of the initiatives of President Mills, you've seen high growth rates over the last several years. Food productivity and food security is up. There's been strong foreign investment." Part of a former British colony, Gh...