A Black father's nightmare: How a mother abuses the system to abuse the child

PLEASE READ... THIS is a TRUE story. The events are current as of the time of this writing.

When you lie to authorities and file claims to gain an advantage in the Court and to block visitation or custody... you are burying yourself under lies that WILL catch UP to you. Here's MY story, and I hope what I have gone through for seven years (and CONTINUE to go through) will help you understand that it's BEST for the child to have BOTH parents... unless ONE parent PROVES OTHERWISE.... PLEASE READ...

My daughter is 8 years old, and I’ve had visitation since 2007 when we divorced. There have been COUNTLESS contemptuous efforts on the mother’s behalf, and every time, she was told by the probate judge to “follow the order”. A somewhat finality to the case came in December 2011, when the Probate Court adopted a visitation order I created. The mother didn’t seem to care, and created more false claims of abuse, including “My son told me he remembered when my ex husband pulled his ear real hard when he was four (2007) and it affects him to this day”,,, and “my daughter told me Daddy took her in the bathroom and pulled her hair real hard and she never wants to see him again”. Needless to say, the Probate Court didn’t allow her Motion to Cancel Visitation. That was 2011.

On various dates in 2012, the mother continued this behavior, and would show up to the police station where I live with false claims that I removed the child from school on a date that wasn’t mine. Each time since 2010, the mother was wrong, and the police soon caught on. Of course, this is AFTER about 15 visits to my home unwarranted. Keep in mind, I have had a restraining order against me since the divorce, and the mother has recently obtained a permanent order against me (August 2013).

This past April 2013, I filed a complaint for modification because I moved to Providence, Rhode Island from Milton, Massachusetts, and I didn’t feel it was good to have to wake our daughter at 4:00 a.m. to get her to school on time. Understanding I would forfeit my full Sunday overnights with her during weekend visits (every first and third), I petitioned the Court to change the drop-off to Sunday night at 6:00 p.m. with exchange at the police station closest to my last home. I also asked the Court to extend Summer visits to include the month of July in even years, and the month of August in odd years, and for longer holiday visits rotated between the two of us in odd/even years.

On October 25th of this year, the Probate Court judge held a hearing, and the mother disagreed with everything, citing: “he should keep bringing her to school on Monday. Providence isn’t that far. When I was in college, I would commute from Boston to Providence all the time.” The judge asked her: “Ma’am, are you saying you believe it’s in your daughter’s best interest to have to get up at 4:00 in the morning?” The mother replied: “Yes. It’s not that far. And I don’t think he moved to Rhode Island anyway.” The judge THEN asked her: “Do you have proof that he doesn’t live in Rhode Island?” The mother said: “No, but even if he does, he shouldn’t have to change the order. Because they have a new car, and I don’t have a car.” The judge said: “I have a proposal from the father, but I don’t have anything from you. I need your proposal by January 6th, and I’m going to order you to mediation. By March 18th, you had better have an agreement put in place when we have a trial.”

Around November 6th, I received mail from the Probate Court with instructions on what we needed to have by January 6th for mediation. On November 15, 2013, my wife and I went to pick my daughter up from the bust stop. We waited for the 2:30 drop-off, and when we realized my daughter wasn’t there, we called the bus monitor and asked where they were. The bus monitor said: “I haven’t seen her. She’s not on the bus.” I had to ask her again: “Oh. Is she sick? Did she go to school again?” The bus monitor replied: “I don’t know”. So I called the school and asked if they knew where my daughter was. They said my daughter DID go to school, and that my daughter WAS on the bus. They directed me to the school bus company instead. I called the company’s director and she said: “the mother called us earlier today and asked us to send your daughter to her instead.” I told her that I had visitation, and they had a copy of it, and that I was not informed that they would divert her bus route and arbitrarily change the order. Either way, my wife and I drove all the way back to Rhode Island without my daughter, and filed contempt action the following Tuesday, November 19th in Probate Court.

By November 22nd, my mother called saying there was a letter from District Court concerning a Complaint for a Restraining Order. I was confused and told her I would be in Boston to pick it up since it was my make-up weekend with our daughter. The court order clearly says: “any visits missed by the mother shall be made up within a week.” We called my daughter’s school and let them know we would be on our way to get her later. The school informed us that my daughter didn’t come to school on November 22nd. This caused me to miss a SECOND CONSECUTIVE weekend with my daughter.

The letter my mother had from the District Court was actually a motion to add my daughter to the mother’s restraining order against me. Along with a complaint that I contacted our daughter’s school (on November 15th) and made threats to the mother. The District Court heard the mother’s false testimony on November 26th, and for nearly 30 minutes, the judge explained to the mother that she couldn’t circumvent the probate order, as there was already a visitation order in place. The mother begged, pleaded, and began to cry and said: “I don’t want my daughter to die. I don’t want to see her on the news dead. If she goes with him, she will die! I don’t feel she will be safe with him and you HAVE to do SOMETHING! I NEED this order!” The judge granted it for ten days, causing me to miss thanksgiving weekend. My next visitation weekend would be December 6, 2013 when the lower court (District Court) ends the ten-day order. The judge asked the mother to come back on the 6th of December with the witness from the school who could tell her under oath that I did, in fact call the school and made a threat.

December 6th, we go to court to hear the facts surrounding the restraining order. A totally different judge heard the case, and after only 5 minutes, extended the restraining order until December 31st, asking the mother to bring her witness when she returned. I explained to the judge that the matter was supposed to go to Probate Court as ordered by the last judge on the temporary order. The judge didn’t hear my argument, nor did he want to see the letter from the school saying no threat ever took place.

On December 9, 2013, we were in Probate Court to hear the mother’s emergency complaint for cancellation of visitation and request for a restraining order. The mother filed the request on November 15th, just three days before filing the same in the District Court. The Probate Court heard the mother’s testimony, and concluded that the mother was lying, bringing frivolous motions, and manipulating the court, The mother’s motion and complaint was dismissed, and the mother again begged. She pleaded with the Probate Court judge: “PLEASE, judge. DON’T let my daughter go with him. Her LIFE is at STAKE! He is abusive, he has a history of being abusive in past relationships. He was abusive to me during our marriage, and he is a serial abusive. I also feel that he may sexually abuse my daughter if she goes to be with him, and I need the visitation cancelled.” The judge reminded her that the probation department recommended her case be dismissed due to false testimony and statements. Furthermore, I had a letter from the school faxed to court. The mother had nothing. The judge then lifted my daughter from the restraining order out of District Court and I was prepared to see my daughter for make-up on December 13, 2013.

My wife and I drove to Boston early in the day to pick up the cancelled restraining order between my daughter and I. The Probate Court gave me a certified copy, and we drove to school to pick my daughter up. When I got to the school’s office, everyone became quiet and started whispering in the back of the office after I asked for them to call my daughter to the front. My wife noticed my daughter in the hall readying for the bus. She brought my daughter in the office with us, and I asked my wife to stay outside while I went into the Principal’s private office. I showed the principal the paperwork from the Probate Court and explained that I was there to pick my daughter up for make-up visits.

After nearly 2 ½ hours of waiting for the principal to check, and fact-check (she called everybody else EXCEPT the Probate Court), the principal said: “Okay, although you have everything here, I simply cannot allow you to take your daughter. You have a long way ahead of you. I am not a lawyer, so I can’t understand most of this, and can’t read legalese. The mother is on her way. She says there’s still a restraining order in place.” I replied: “Ma’am, with all due respect. If you believe that I came here to violate a standing restraining order, you’re mistaken. I am not stupid enough to do that. But I’m not leaving without my daughter, so I suggest you call the police, and maybe THEY will know how to read it.” She called the police and asked them to “come sort out a visitation matter. It appears as if the father’s confused.”

When the police got there, the principal began explaining the matter. I stopped her and said: “Ma’am, you’ve already stated you don’t know what you’re reading. Please let ME explain the matter that I brought.” I showed the police the mother’s restraining order and the last page was amended by the Probate Court judge to say: “the abuse prevention order shall be terminated and the visitation order previously in place shall remain”. The mother’s request to cancel visitation was also attached, and the Probate Judge denied that motion with the instructions: “daughter’s name is to be removed from the restraining order”.

The police read everything, and I asked them to contact a Sergeant Detective who had looked into the false allegation that I called the school in November to threaten the mother. The sergeant told m the school never said I threatened the mother, saying if the mother were telling the truth, she would file her complaint in Brookline, not Boston. Nevertheless, the Clerk Magistrate in Boston dropped the charge that I violated any order, since the mother insisted I called a Brookline phone number to relay a threat. After the five or so police officers heard my side, they waited for the mother who took about 30 minutes to arrive. The officers told us to wait outside in our car, and upon notice, be prepared to just leave.

Within fifteen minutes of the mother’s arrival, one of the officers approached our car and told us: “you’re free to go.” We could see the mother trying to explain her “case” to officers who, obviously, were not being tricked like the District Court. My wife and I are enjoying our weekend with “OUR” daughter. It’s obvious my request to change the visitation just a little, has changed everything a LOT. This will NOT look good for the mother in January. Meanwhile, the judge has granted me permission to file for Contempt. More info when that case is heard/ Your response is appreciated.

keisha dream amir shakir shakirah shakir parental alienation abuse of process suffolk probate court boston judge christopher roxbury district court heath school principal carrie wilson debbie fey barbara thomas heath school bus monitor suzy talukdar metco