LETTER TO MY PRINCESS [a father's love for his daughter] ***TRUE STORY***

I love you, Shakirah Aneesah Shakir. Your name means so much and you are destined to live those three names as you bless this world with your presence. In a late night dream in 1997, your name came to me and I wrote about in a song "I Believe In You." SHAKIRAH [a female variation of the word, 'Shakir'] means: 'Thankful to God.' Your middle name, ANEESAH means 'one who has compassion for others' and your last name SHAKIR means 'Thankful to God'.

Seven years after you were conceived in my mind, you were conceived in this world's reality. Unfortunately, the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy and I must admit, that the devil used your own mother in his attempt to get to you. Two months into your conception, your mother made an appointment to have you aborted. As Christians and members of one of the greatest churches in Boston, I reminded her that this was not what we do and that if she believes you didn't belong here, that she should wait until after your birth and let me have custody of you.

Two weeks later, I pointed to scriptures in the Bible and convinced her that you were destined to be here; that you were made to bring the world more hope and proof that God is good and that God still loves this world very much. It was not easy getting her to understand and believe that you were MORE than "just blood and stuff" and she confided in me that she felt the same way about her child before you. But i promised her you would have the world's greatest dad and I would be there for you with my life as the ransom at all times.

At around 230 p.m. on August 18, 2005 your mother started feeling contractions and went to the hospital. She called my cell phone and I raced to the hospital. The doctor told us to just go home and wait until the next day or so, and that it was just a close call. i refused and told the doctor I wanted to wait. Two hours later, more contractions and labor began. I had to wear the hospital gear and I stood beside your mother and helped the doctors bring you into this world. I remember the first time I saw your eyes and heard you make a sound. It made me shiver to know you were finally here. One out of a million sperm cells that MADE it to the open universe, ready for the world.

You were born with a head full of hair and every night I would hold you and walk you around the house and hum Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" until you fell asleep. It didn't matter how long it took you to fall asleep, I would not sleep until you did. We went to church every Sunday and I spoke to you, read Bible verses to you, played with you, fed you, changed you, and held you while I meditated on who you will grow to become and how you will change the world.

After only five weeks on this earth, your mother was angry about a surprise birthday party we threw her, and asked me to leave, saying “you AND your daughter leave or I will call the police and make up something to have you arrested.” I grabbed your carrier and an umbrella and tried to get my car keys, but she hid them from me and kept threatening to call the police if we didn’t leave. She held the phone in her hand and forced us out in the rain on September 25, 2005. I remember walking halfway up the block to catch a cab and your mother left your brother in the house and ran up to us. She grabbed me an begged us to come back home and “be a family.” She said it was the devil and that she wanted to change and repair the damage people before me has caused.

As a father, Shakirah, I felt deep inside that someday, this issue would be a reason why your mom and I would split. And only one year later, when my uncle got sick, more of the same things began all over again. In retaliation to me helping my family take care of our dying uncle, your mother showed jealousy and filed a false restraining order against me while I was at my uncle’s house. There was no way I could find you to be with you, and I had no choice but to go to court and file for visitation. Around June 0f 2007, I was granted visitation and our divorce was almost over. And I never failed you one minute. I stayed on course and fought to make sure you and I kept the bond that was designed by God, himself.

I dealt with years of holidays without you, not by my own doing, but because you weren’t available for pickup as ordered, and every Father’s Day, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Birthday and other holidays were filled with emptiness. My patience grew thinner and I decided to file an order of contempt against your mother for purposely failing to bring you to school for my scheduled visit on November 25, 2009. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and again… you and I missed another Thanksgiving. On December 4th, I filed for contempt of court and requested Joint Physical Custody. By now, it was clear you and I needed more time together so this wouldn’t happen again. Your mother disagreed that you should spend more time with me and a hearing date was set for January 4, 2010.

At the hearing, your mother told the court so many lies and the Judge put the request for Joint Physical Custody under review. Within three weeks, your mother filed for a false restraining order without cause or merit, and I was served one Saturday while you were visiting me for your scheduled time with me. Three days later, I received a letter from the Department of Children and Families saying your mom told them I “pulled your hair.” But I fought them and proved her wrong, and DCF dropped their case. She then filed a request for an emergency block of visitation and the Judge denied her request. What’s left is a court hearing soon about her blatant disregard for the visitation order on February 3, 12, 13, 14, 17, 26, 27, and 28. At the time of this writing, we have not seen each other for 26 days. But I am not on the sidelines… I am on the battlefield. And this is where I will be for the rest of my life and as long as I have breath in my body. Besides, as the Princess, you’re not only the daughter of a KING…but the child of a WARRIOR.

I love you, SHAKIRAH ANEESAH SHAKIR

Daddy